Issues with the Bible

Before I paste this in, I know it is not specifically part of my "Quest" but I believe in a wholistic life and I believe that the wholisim that comes with this post affects my quest in whom I am searching for and all that JAZZ!

Well that title is catchy but let me say this. I have issues with the Bible, don't get me wrong because I don't have any issues with "the Word of God" but The Bible, I do have issues with. My problem comes with a reconciliation between this world's view of individualism vs the bible's "logos" capacity to be a written word that has not been changed for years (more than jus the 20 that I've been alive and kicking). Well these qualities have challenged my ability to reconcile my individual experiences with the Bible. Let me try to tackle this systematically before I tackle things in a qualitative context:

1. The Bible's Outrageous claims
2. The Textual Capacity of the Bible
3. The rigidity and incongruence with the heart of God
4. The social stigma of the Bible

1. So, here goes the first one. The bible makes some pretty outrageous claims and I believe is a wonderful thing, but the problem is that some of these claims (one specifically, that I have had difficulties with) seems to not deliver on its promises. That one specific claim that I'm referring to is found in hebrews 4:12 "the word of God is living and active sharper than any two edged sword" this of course is my paraphrase, but the original text is very similar and provides the very same meaning. May I ask when it has ever done this for me? I have turned to the bible and not gotten answers, I have read the bible regularly and it has only provided me with more knowledge of the bible, and I don't feel it has penetrated into my heart (and trust me when I would read it daily I would actually read it and not just like I would read any old book). Also, if it is alive and active, why has it remained the same? All things that are alive have a tendency to grow (myself included). I suppose I could rant on more but that seems to be the susinct articulate version.
2. The textual capaicty of the bible comes down to the fact that it actually is a book and I don't like books or reading, yes that is my issue, and yes they do have audio bibles out (I actually got my hands on a decent one that I'm fond of). But those solutions set aside, it is a text that is unchanging, that unlike a story I might tell or a movie, or a music cd it is rigid and stuffy, so much so that it seems unwilling, ungiving, and harsh to a point that is detremental to it's "popularity" and its "readability"
3. The rigidity that I mentioned above is specified here in it's inconcruence with the heart of God and how God will forgive us what we've done, and forgive the things we've done in a way that the bible will not. True enough that the bible is a book and cannot change, but it seems to project the word of God in a capacity that is not accurate to the heart of God, no offense to matthew, and the rest of the Gospel writers but I feel that there is more to it that you aren't writing.
4. Lastly, but not leastly the social stigma that we've put on it as christians and as a christian nation. I would like to interject with a note about how small these points are getting and the correlation with my desire to be asleep right now, but I continue to do this so I don't lose the thoughts I have right now. We have put so much pressure on reading the bible for what it is without emphasizing a relationship with God through it, in it, and surrounding it… that we need to have a diet of scripture (just like we need to have vitamins) but might not be the only thing we use to worship God, and might not be the thing we do best to worship God. Like a food diet we need to have a balance of different foods that keep us alive we need a balance of things in worship to keep our relationship alive. If I were only to eat broccoli all the time I would get sick (yes broccoli can make you sick). This is the exact same with the bible… if I were only to read the bible and not exercise any of the other disciplines1 I would begin to be unhealthy in my relationship with Jesus, yes my head might be filled with all of the stories, and I could study to know it in and out, but there needs to be a balanced diet between all of the spirutal disciplines so that we can reman healthy and active members of the Body and Kingdom of God.

That is my thought thus far, hit me back to tell me what you think. I had to add this a day or two later after I wrote it to explain. I don't question the authority of the bible, the importance there of the bible, and I definitely agree with the evangelical view of the bible and think that its infallibility is something that we all need to embrace. My issues are, issues but they do not get me down, and I try to read the bible on a daily basis but find that it is often a scheduling conflict with absolutely everything.

Notes:
1. Richard Foster the spirit of discipline

Maybe I don't know me yet

So I'm writing this to say that I have no idea who I am. I am beginning to define what I want, but it Is very loose and is very much dependant upon what God wants (because I want what He wants but I don't know what that is just yet in its entirety nor do I ever know if I'll ever know). I'm writing this to say that maybe I need to take some "me time" which isn't just chilling, nor is it chatting on msn which are things I enjoy to do but to take time to figure out who I am, ask life the tough questions, ask God the tough questions and allow His answers to speak into my life. Maybe I'll figure me out, maybe I won't but I do believe that maybe there is someone out there who is able to join me in this quest. This quest I once thought was to find "the One" but maybe I already have "the One" and the one is Jesus, and my quest is just to find him… and "the One" that I thought I was looking for is simply a partner to join me in this quest and together we would find "the One" in Jesus rather than finding "the One" in each other. I suppose this is an "I have no idea" post and I'm just happy to know that I know someone who does.

I find that I look for definitive's and I like them very much, but I know that some definitive's are not definitive at all, but are a shifting static as it were, a liquid concrete, diamond powder that even though it is an oxymoron it is what I have thus far. Maybe I'm on the right track.

Update in the quest

Though it is true this blog is my "quest" for finding "the one", this quest (like all quests) is greater than the task at hand, but about a fully rounded character development. You see, as in any good quest (as seen in movies etc.) we have the character(s) on the quest develop and grow personally and inter-personally and at the end, their great flaws have been over come (one great example of this is "The Wizard of Oz"). What could that have to do with me? well you see that I'm starting to see some of the development that has occurred and will occur and needs to occur before I can continue. I at one point (though not articulately) viewed marriage as "the end" and a beginning of a "perfect life" but that is not true, not at all! it begins a new set of struggles. The difference being that (if you've picked the right one) you'll have a partner to help you along the way. Most of us though will have several partners (friends, family, etc.) but this one partner will be able to help you in a way that nobody else will.

This post isn't deep like sometimes my other posts can be, but I have to say that life is good! very good! and that sometimes things work in ways you never would expect them to!

In Him,
Lucas (Peace Y'all lol)

who we are

Paint me a picture,
Paint me a picture with a brush only you can see
what is it? tell me what the picture looks like.
tell me about who it is, tell me about who you are.
we all have a picture, locked deep within the recesses of our minds, a picture of who we should be. Some people have a smarter, stronger, more athletic, better looking, idealized version of themselves. A picture that they are striving to be and sometimes... we don't even know it. what does your picture look like? who are you? who are you "supposed to be"?

when you ask yourself that question, paint me a picture, a picture of this person, and why aren't you them? maybe your picture is unrealistic. Maybe your picture is... not your own. Maybe this picture is something that someone else has told you to be, maybe it is a picture but you're not willing to admit that you aren't... this person. We walk around, presenting to our world who we believe we are, and some people are genuine enough to really be that person, inside and out. Some people however, have barely an illusion of who they are painted on the outside and who they really are is deep within, hidden from the rest of the world, and maybe who they are is nothing like who they want to be so they hide it, intentionally, specifically, on purpose! so that nobody has to know they've failed.

I can't tell you much about my picture, because I have tried to hide it even from myself. But I know he's wearing a suit... I know that he is a leader, strong and proud of who he is and what he's done. He's someone people can really... grab a hold of, because he... he just is. He is a man of God filled with integrity and everything He does oozes of who God is. This man walks up to people and introduces himself and immediate they want to know how to be more like Christ.

Can I confess something? can I confess that I am not that man? can I be open and honest with out enough to tell you all that this man doesn't exist nor will he ever exist? I would be lying if I told you that this man is the man that I want to be. This man doesn't have faith, he wears his sham on his sleeve. He walks around in his suit and people fall for him, but there is no substance. I said "he is a man of God" but that doesn't mean he relies on God, nor does it mean that he receives anything from God. It means that he goes to church on sunday, and speaks, gives his 3-point sermon and walks off. he is distant, believe it or not, in an "aloof" kind of way that people always seem to think is so awesome. This man is a sham of who i am supposed to be, a lie put there by years of watching television, painting me a picture of what is good. this is the farthest thing from God. there is no weakness, there is no humility. He appears to be filled with integrity and ooze God's nature, but he is only putting on a show.

God loves me for who I am, and is ready to help me be who He wants me to be, and to change and shape the man inside and the picture I'm striving for. He wants to do the same for you.

learning things about myself

I am my own worst emeny. Dear friends, if anyone reads this it might help for you so think about it. I find that if I have someone on the brain then I will think about them and its hard to stop, part of that includes when I should be sleeping because I over think and over analyse everything. This is what I have learned which might help, if I don't get the sleep I need (unlike a lot of people who just get grumpy), I get "depressed" which is quickly remedied by a quick nap 20 minutes is sufficient to give me the rest I need and I am good for a while. But if I don't then I just get more and more depressed. I feel it is a good time for an analogy, you see it's like driving a car or taking a photo... when you have an ubalanced clutch and gas ratio (I'm talking pedals) your car will either rev very high, or will stall out... but if you have the proper balance of the two then your car will run fine and likewise with photography, without the proper balance of shutter speed and aperature you will get a photo too dark or too light. I am really lacking a crucial part the spiritual element, for me this can leave me to think and feel that maybe God doesn't care. The reality is that God cares deeply and passionately about me and about you as well, though when I don't get enough sleep I quickly learn that my perception is skewed.

all of this to say, take time to have your balance in life between sleep/awake and people/solitude will give you the tools that you need to do what you have to do.

Recent developments, opening my eyes

Well I've realized something... part of this quest requires my vision to be broad, but I have a tendency to be too broad. I am perfectly content with being single the rest of my life but I have a desire to live my life... in a way that I haven't really yet, and sometimes I confuse things surrounding that. For instance I want to have a career (like now), a house, a car (which I do), and this whole blog is about... a spouse. I realize though, that sometimes I feel that if I had a spouse it would bring me one step closer to living my life the way I've described (because with a spouse you have to have a house/living arrangements etc.). This brings in my thoughts of a "too broad" perspective, that in the past I have "fallen in love with every girl that has legs" which isn't good, and I have narrowed my perspective a little, but I have also changed what I see. in the past I see potential partners with excites the part of me that wants a spouse and so I jump the gun and after only one or two dates I want to marry them (or not even dates but just conversations lol :S). At this point, like I said, I am content being single but that doesn't mean that its hard not to fall. To try and help with this I have created a list of requirements, I know many may fit it, but only one will exemplify it, and only one is God's plan for me. When she stumbles into my life I would like to know it.

• Loves Jesus
o Her love for Jesus has to be an inspiration... that I am challenged to love Jesus more, not because of her actions but her love
• Caring heart (awww factor)
• “Suitable in Chicago”
o Would be ok living majority of their life in the City (Chicago)
o And would be willing to go wherever God leads
• Have a dream, vision, aspiration to drive them
• I have to think she’s beautiful
• Sense of opportunity ( a “dreamer”)
o What if? Mentality
• People oriented/outgoing
• “someone who's okay with you taking the lead, and that respects your authority and welcomes it in her life”
• Hopes of changing the world
o Understanding that the world as is, is broken, and that she wants to make her impact in whatever way she can
• Best friend
o She has to be my best friend, share things with me and me with her

if you read this and have questions... I would love to answer them. So that's it for tonight, later "y'all"

Kids, views, etc.

I have at one point recently felt that my life would be OK without kids, this would present all sorts of opportunities. I could mentor kids who's fathers weren't the fathers that they should be and I could pour out into kids that needed it even though I wasn't their biological father. I have felt OK with the thought of not having a spouse, of living the rest of my life as a bachelor. and to this day God is enough that He is my sustainer that these beautiful aspects of life are nothing in comparison to God and what He provides. But I know that God will use these things to bless me in a way that I can't describe. Though I can paint you a picture... a moment when everything appears to be crashing around you head burried in your hands the only thing your mind can think about is the failure that you are when all of a sudden you feel the warmth of a hand rubbing your back and instantaneously the tears turn from defeat and failure and turn to the love you have for that woman who has stood by your side time and time again and just how gateful you are to the fact that God has blessed you in such a way. that kind of joy is indescribable in a literary sense but everyone can relate to and hopes for in some way or another. The other image I would like to give is this, you have "one of those weeks" where things just seem to be dead, and you begin to ask yourself "Am I useful?", "do I have a purpose", and "is what I'm doing actually filling a purpose"... and then you go home and you see your son or daughter, and it reminds you that even if your career isn't doing anything, your every action is impacting this young one to grow up and be the Man or Woman that God is intending them, and you have that purpose and meaning.

I need to take a quick moment to make a distinction. It is this author's firm belief that every single person has a purpose to fulfill that may or may not include kids and a spouse, and it is my hope that your purpose goes outside of and beyond kids and a spouse because your kids and spouse will never be able to give you meaning. It is God who will do that, and He wants to do it and will give you the joy, peace, and understanding necessary to complete this.

In Him,
Lucas

Let me start by telling you what this blog will be about. I will try to fill this blog with my quest, my quest to find "the one" the person that God has meant for me. I'm not opposed to the idea of being single the rest of my life, in fact it might make a lot of things (especially in the ministry) a whole lot easier. But here Goes. I started my quest when I was born but have been given some new objectives for my quest and i will post them here:

I stand, upon a surface unfamiliar to my feet not a substance around but the material composing the clothing my
body. I see it, falling... a tear, a tear from years of broken hearts, broken homes, and broken lives. I hold out my
hand, it lands though it fell quickly, softly in my hand. it did not splash within my hand as most tears, this one was
different. I pinched it between my fingers, I saw it's purity and the light glimmered through it, though no light was
around to shine... it generated it's own light. I heard no voice but I knew what I needed to. I knew that this was
hers, it belonged to a woman I'd never met in a place I'd never been held a love I'd never experienced...

this is something that I wrote, but i can't take credit as my own ideas. I have to give credit to "The Big Fella". In future posts I will share with you some events on my quest and developments as i get closer and farther to and from my goal.