who we are

Paint me a picture,
Paint me a picture with a brush only you can see
what is it? tell me what the picture looks like.
tell me about who it is, tell me about who you are.
we all have a picture, locked deep within the recesses of our minds, a picture of who we should be. Some people have a smarter, stronger, more athletic, better looking, idealized version of themselves. A picture that they are striving to be and sometimes... we don't even know it. what does your picture look like? who are you? who are you "supposed to be"?

when you ask yourself that question, paint me a picture, a picture of this person, and why aren't you them? maybe your picture is unrealistic. Maybe your picture is... not your own. Maybe this picture is something that someone else has told you to be, maybe it is a picture but you're not willing to admit that you aren't... this person. We walk around, presenting to our world who we believe we are, and some people are genuine enough to really be that person, inside and out. Some people however, have barely an illusion of who they are painted on the outside and who they really are is deep within, hidden from the rest of the world, and maybe who they are is nothing like who they want to be so they hide it, intentionally, specifically, on purpose! so that nobody has to know they've failed.

I can't tell you much about my picture, because I have tried to hide it even from myself. But I know he's wearing a suit... I know that he is a leader, strong and proud of who he is and what he's done. He's someone people can really... grab a hold of, because he... he just is. He is a man of God filled with integrity and everything He does oozes of who God is. This man walks up to people and introduces himself and immediate they want to know how to be more like Christ.

Can I confess something? can I confess that I am not that man? can I be open and honest with out enough to tell you all that this man doesn't exist nor will he ever exist? I would be lying if I told you that this man is the man that I want to be. This man doesn't have faith, he wears his sham on his sleeve. He walks around in his suit and people fall for him, but there is no substance. I said "he is a man of God" but that doesn't mean he relies on God, nor does it mean that he receives anything from God. It means that he goes to church on sunday, and speaks, gives his 3-point sermon and walks off. he is distant, believe it or not, in an "aloof" kind of way that people always seem to think is so awesome. This man is a sham of who i am supposed to be, a lie put there by years of watching television, painting me a picture of what is good. this is the farthest thing from God. there is no weakness, there is no humility. He appears to be filled with integrity and ooze God's nature, but he is only putting on a show.

God loves me for who I am, and is ready to help me be who He wants me to be, and to change and shape the man inside and the picture I'm striving for. He wants to do the same for you.