Let me first say that this is with complete ignorance for I have not truly experienced what it is like to be in ministry, but I want to suggest something and see if it makes any sense to anyone. The first thing is to say that we have a lot of pastors experiencing burn out, and infact we have less pastors entering the ministry than we do pastors leaving for burn out. Well why might this be? I have a proposition, first of all it may seem slightly contradictory to what we would expect to see and hear in and from the church but here goes nothing.
Marriage, I think is to blame. This is not to say that marriage is bad, but to simply say that it makes life MORE difficult and it fools young ministers into thinking that it will be easier (when in fact this is false). Lets start at the end and work our way backwards. We have a pastor who is experiencing burn out, but why? Because he has to maintain his job at the church/ministry, and he has to maintain his home. The pastor must love his wife, love his kids, he must provide for them financially and he must rule his castle, as it were. To examine the amount of energy it takes to actually be a father, is quite strenuous (especially when both parents in the home work). While all this is happening, the pastor essentially has to be a father for the church as well.
In church literature there is an emphasis on the idea of boundaries and priorities and making sure that the pastor is able to balance his life so that he may sustain not only himself but the ministry as well. The question I have is what if he weren't married? And what if he weren't a father (childless)? If this were the case then he would need to be the parent only to the church, and he could focus more attention on the church (as they need it) and he wouldn't need to focus very much attention on his family at home. He could be there at all the events, because he "has nothing better to do" anyway, as well as he could focus his personal life so that he can do what he wants rather than spend his time caring for his family.
This does sound very self-centered and like I am "anti-family" which is not the case, for you see I love family and I think that family is a great thing, but when we as church goers put so much emphasis on the pastor, why is it that he must have a family? He can essentially give more to the church and give more to sustaining himself because he as an individual has less on his plate and can do more. When he lays his head down at night he can let out that sigh of relief knowing that today was a good day and that he had his time professionally (at the church, visiting, sermon prep, etc.) and he had his time personally (dinner, out with friends for coffee, and maybe even a church activity for fellowship) then the next day he can do it all over again fulfilled and refreshed because he knows that personally he is fulfilled.
This also to say that of course God would be providing the fulfillment, as a result of his call to the ministry, but all of that to say. Family might be the very thing that is causing our pastor's to burn out, rather than their over exuberance to the church.
We have discussed the idea of two extremes basically, single vs. family. But there is a middle of the road that I think would be the optimal in considering this topic, which is, married without kids. This I feel would be the best solution to this problem. So for starters we have the pastor running the church, and we have the pastor's wife performing some job (in or out of the church). Then they would have their personal time (marriage retreats, dinner, movies, personal time, etc.) they would have their church time (appropriate age groups with church members, Sunday church services, and other outings with church people) as well as he would be able to invest time into the church. The beauty to this model is that not only does the church benefit from an exuberant pastor, but they also receive the love and support and accountability of a wonderful wife. This I feel would be the perfect model, this would allow for the wife to be self "sufficient" and the pastor to be self "sufficient" they would be together to be support to each other without all the extra work of having kids to run everywhere, education to pay for, braces, soccer, and anything else they might need (not to mention the fact that they would need personal time with their dad too). Why has this theory been very unpopular in the church? Considering this is a blog I don't have to provide you with an answer, for those who read this and have the answer can comment, but those who read this and don't have the answer can find it and contemplate the question. Can anyone else think of anything that could possibly be better? A different solution that would be not only better but easier? Without kids the pastor's plate would be light, and the pastor and his wife could give to the church much more than they would otherwise.
There are two things that I do want to say before concluding this. The first thing to say is as follows: some people have that natural drive and desire to be parents and to have children, that would cause the breakdown of the aforementioned childless model, but consider this, if a church is successful there would be a even distribution of ages, ranging from babies, to retirees. This would allow for the pastor and wife to have their nurturing, for they could start up mentoring programs, and child care programs which would not only meet their personal need to contribute to the next generation but also help the ministry of the church, and the bonus of it all… you get to send the kids home at the end of the day! You don't have to pay for their education, braces, soccer games, etc. not to mention you give their parents a break and allow them to have some time to go and restore their marriages and have fun with themselves without the kids. This is a win win win situation.
The other thing I would like to mention is this seems to be a predominantly male viewpoint. Don't worry ladies, I'm sensitive too. Just because I have spoken of a male pastor and a female pastor's wife, doesn't mean that a woman can't be a pastor and she have a pastor's husband, I think that is totally acceptable and I would like to see more ladies behind the pulpit.
So read this, consider its arguments, see what you think about it and hit me back! I'm open to discussion I just have my perspective and want to hear what all of you have to say
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