Issues with the Bible

Before I paste this in, I know it is not specifically part of my "Quest" but I believe in a wholistic life and I believe that the wholisim that comes with this post affects my quest in whom I am searching for and all that JAZZ!

Well that title is catchy but let me say this. I have issues with the Bible, don't get me wrong because I don't have any issues with "the Word of God" but The Bible, I do have issues with. My problem comes with a reconciliation between this world's view of individualism vs the bible's "logos" capacity to be a written word that has not been changed for years (more than jus the 20 that I've been alive and kicking). Well these qualities have challenged my ability to reconcile my individual experiences with the Bible. Let me try to tackle this systematically before I tackle things in a qualitative context:

1. The Bible's Outrageous claims
2. The Textual Capacity of the Bible
3. The rigidity and incongruence with the heart of God
4. The social stigma of the Bible

1. So, here goes the first one. The bible makes some pretty outrageous claims and I believe is a wonderful thing, but the problem is that some of these claims (one specifically, that I have had difficulties with) seems to not deliver on its promises. That one specific claim that I'm referring to is found in hebrews 4:12 "the word of God is living and active sharper than any two edged sword" this of course is my paraphrase, but the original text is very similar and provides the very same meaning. May I ask when it has ever done this for me? I have turned to the bible and not gotten answers, I have read the bible regularly and it has only provided me with more knowledge of the bible, and I don't feel it has penetrated into my heart (and trust me when I would read it daily I would actually read it and not just like I would read any old book). Also, if it is alive and active, why has it remained the same? All things that are alive have a tendency to grow (myself included). I suppose I could rant on more but that seems to be the susinct articulate version.
2. The textual capaicty of the bible comes down to the fact that it actually is a book and I don't like books or reading, yes that is my issue, and yes they do have audio bibles out (I actually got my hands on a decent one that I'm fond of). But those solutions set aside, it is a text that is unchanging, that unlike a story I might tell or a movie, or a music cd it is rigid and stuffy, so much so that it seems unwilling, ungiving, and harsh to a point that is detremental to it's "popularity" and its "readability"
3. The rigidity that I mentioned above is specified here in it's inconcruence with the heart of God and how God will forgive us what we've done, and forgive the things we've done in a way that the bible will not. True enough that the bible is a book and cannot change, but it seems to project the word of God in a capacity that is not accurate to the heart of God, no offense to matthew, and the rest of the Gospel writers but I feel that there is more to it that you aren't writing.
4. Lastly, but not leastly the social stigma that we've put on it as christians and as a christian nation. I would like to interject with a note about how small these points are getting and the correlation with my desire to be asleep right now, but I continue to do this so I don't lose the thoughts I have right now. We have put so much pressure on reading the bible for what it is without emphasizing a relationship with God through it, in it, and surrounding it… that we need to have a diet of scripture (just like we need to have vitamins) but might not be the only thing we use to worship God, and might not be the thing we do best to worship God. Like a food diet we need to have a balance of different foods that keep us alive we need a balance of things in worship to keep our relationship alive. If I were only to eat broccoli all the time I would get sick (yes broccoli can make you sick). This is the exact same with the bible… if I were only to read the bible and not exercise any of the other disciplines1 I would begin to be unhealthy in my relationship with Jesus, yes my head might be filled with all of the stories, and I could study to know it in and out, but there needs to be a balanced diet between all of the spirutal disciplines so that we can reman healthy and active members of the Body and Kingdom of God.

That is my thought thus far, hit me back to tell me what you think. I had to add this a day or two later after I wrote it to explain. I don't question the authority of the bible, the importance there of the bible, and I definitely agree with the evangelical view of the bible and think that its infallibility is something that we all need to embrace. My issues are, issues but they do not get me down, and I try to read the bible on a daily basis but find that it is often a scheduling conflict with absolutely everything.

Notes:
1. Richard Foster the spirit of discipline

Maybe I don't know me yet

So I'm writing this to say that I have no idea who I am. I am beginning to define what I want, but it Is very loose and is very much dependant upon what God wants (because I want what He wants but I don't know what that is just yet in its entirety nor do I ever know if I'll ever know). I'm writing this to say that maybe I need to take some "me time" which isn't just chilling, nor is it chatting on msn which are things I enjoy to do but to take time to figure out who I am, ask life the tough questions, ask God the tough questions and allow His answers to speak into my life. Maybe I'll figure me out, maybe I won't but I do believe that maybe there is someone out there who is able to join me in this quest. This quest I once thought was to find "the One" but maybe I already have "the One" and the one is Jesus, and my quest is just to find him… and "the One" that I thought I was looking for is simply a partner to join me in this quest and together we would find "the One" in Jesus rather than finding "the One" in each other. I suppose this is an "I have no idea" post and I'm just happy to know that I know someone who does.

I find that I look for definitive's and I like them very much, but I know that some definitive's are not definitive at all, but are a shifting static as it were, a liquid concrete, diamond powder that even though it is an oxymoron it is what I have thus far. Maybe I'm on the right track.